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I'm so old I can remember when paper bags were destroying the world and plastic was gonna save us all.
I don't know how to act my age.
I've never been this old before.
Deep thought of today: When you clean out a vacuum cleaner.
You become a vacuum cleaner.
I asked my phone: "Siri, why am I so bad with women?"
She said: "I'm Alexa you moron."
I recently joined a nudist colony.
The first few days were the hardest.