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When I was little, I didn't care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose.
Now, when I look at old photo albums. I realize they didn't care either.
Old age is a thing.. last night I was in bed for 20 min when I heard the pizza guy cough.
Then I remembered I came to my room for my wallet
He who drinks a fifth on the fourth, may not be able to go forth on the fifth
After my funeral I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone:
"thanks for coming"
My wife wanted a vacation, but I wanted a staycation.
So we compromised and had an altercation.
You don't let your dog up on the furniture?
Bro I'd let my dog borrow my car if he needed to