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If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme.
But read and lead don't rhyme, and neither do read and lead.
I just won an award for most secretive person in the office.
I can't tell you how much that means to me.
My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.
After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
I entered my son's room and said,
"Remember, boy, masturbating can make you go blind."
"I'm over here dad," he replied.
A man walks into a sperm bank.
The doctor says: "Would you get a load of this guy?
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet?
l asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don't know either.