;
What has three legs and four arms?
My son's shit drawing of a snake.
The swordfish has few predators in the wild.
Except for the rare penfish, which is said to be mightier.
I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order.
I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm the one with the money.
Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes
Me: I wish for a world without lawyers
Genie: Done, you have no more wishes
Me: But you said 3
Genie: Sue me
I told my teenage son that when I was his age, I used to get 10 CDs in the mail for a penny.
I don't know if he thought I was lying about what a CD was, what a penny was, what the mail was, or all of the above.
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for.
So far no one has given me a straight answer.