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Mariah Carey is opening her Christmas present.
Inside she finds a deed to an undeveloped plot of land that is zoned residential.
Disappointed, she set the deed down and said...
“I don't want a lot for Christmas.”
What begins with E and ends in E but only has one letter?
Envelope.
I’ve adopted a pet termite and I’m calling him Clint.
Clint Eatswood.
If you drive a Subaru backward, what are you?
U r a bus.
I asked a German girl for her number and I'm still waiting for the rest of the digits.
So far, all I have is "nine".
I was going to propose to my girlfriend, but my dog ate the ring.
Now it's a diamond in the ruff.