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A telemarketer called and asked to
speak to whoever runs the household.
I passed the phone to my cat.
When scientists said the Universe is
made up of protons, neutrons
and electrons, they forgot to
mention morons.
Felt uncomfortable driving into
the cemetery.
The GPS blurted out, “You have reached your final destination.
I got myself a seniors’ GPS. Not only does it tell me how to get to my destination, it tells me why I wanted to go there in the first place.
My son asked me what I use to play on the iPad as a kid. I told him I use to talk into a fan to sound like a robot.
Me: Doctor, will my pet snake be okay?
Vet: He'll survive, but he'll never walk again.