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I hate Xmas. Work all hours to pay for expensive presents for the kids, and some fatty with a beard gets all the credit.
Still, it's my fault for marrying her.
I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order.
I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm the one with the money.
My friend Joe recently went on the Dolly Parton diet.
It really made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe leannnnnn...
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their ass with an iPad.
